Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Some of last week and some of this.

Hi peeps!
Thanks for all the comments on the pics. I can't leave individual replies cos I gota run but thank you all. I'd remember them on PMS days when I feel ugly, bloated and irritated.
I've been kinda busy and I'm not sure I'm enjoying it. There's a pile of work on my desk and I find it all overwhelming. And the fact that I get to moderate a focus group discussion in a couple of days makes me really nervous. It's my first time so you can understand the butterflies I have in my tummy. I feel the same way I used to feel back then in primary school when I had to recite multiplication tables before the whole class...I hope I do well. I pray I do well. I want to do well. Oh please go away nervousness!

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I was called for the third stage of the interview I told you guys about which means I did well in the second stage answering all those diastema questions. The third stage was a different ball game all together. It was divided into two parts: The written and the oral.
The written consisted of four parts: Communication skills, current affairs, cognate ability and reasoning. How did it go? Hmmm, well, I did what I could. Besides that, no comment. The oral however was, well, er interesting. Here are some excerpts:

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Lady interviewer: Good afternoon Ejura. Please take a seat and read this.
[She hands me a sheet and scores me as I pronounce each word]

LI: What is a mission statement?
[This lady has a Margaret Thatcher approach to her questions and a very no nonsense attitude. Plus she's pretty and she knows it.]
Me: A mission statement is a, er, it's like a guide line that pretty much summarizes your purpose and drives you forward.

LI: Oh, really? What is your mission statement?
Me: I think my M.S is to be a reference point...

LI: Don't give me all that rehearsed story. Ejura, give me you. Tell me the truth. What reference point? Reference point where?
Me: Ref point in everything I....
[Rehearsed what? Did I have a clue you were going to be asking me about my MS?]

LI: [Pointing her finger at my face] Don't waste my time girl. I'm not here for that.
Me: But that’s how…

LI: What do you love to do? [She obviously loves interrupting]
Me: I love painting

LI: Oh, you're an artist. If you love painting what are you doing in a bank?
Me: It’s a career I have always wanted to pursue [Which is so far away from the truth].

LI: And why is that?
Me: Er, because I think it is a great….

LI: Don’t give me those lines
Me: Ok, honestly…

LI: Yes, honestly, I like honestly, let’s start with honestly
Me: [What’s with this lady?] Ok, I really like the way bankers look-their appearance. They look crisp and nice and that has always been an attraction for me

LI: You want to work in a bank because of the way bankers look? [Blinks]
Me: Well, that’s one of the reasons and I think you look good too [Plus you didn't want any rehearsed thing so why not go weird?]

LI: Thank you
[Ok, I was sucking up by complimenting her but who cares?]
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The second interview:

With a young good looking man. He has a laptop before him and the scene suddenly reminds me of “Who wants to be a millionaire?”

Him: Please sit down
Me: Thank you

Him: You studied French?
Me: Yes

Him: I’m going to be testing your current affairs ability.
[Oh, sugar, honey, ice and tea! Current affairs? My great weakness!]

Him: Who is the president of France?
Me: I know it’s Sarosky but I can’t recall his first name now.

Him: And you studied French. His name is Nicholas Sarosky.
Me: Yes, Nicholas. You’re right. [The name was actually dangling in my brain!]

Him: Who is the secretary to the federal government of Nigeria?
Me: [Oh no!] I’m sorry I do not know

Him: No name rings a bell?
Me: No [Nigeria has a secretary?]

Him: At all? Tell me who you are thinking of?
Me: [The only name in my head is Umar Modibo, minister of the FCT and I know this is so wrong]. Please don’t waste your time sir. I’m afraid I do not know the answer.

Him: Ok, where is the headquarters of the UN?
Me: [I know Ban-ki-moon is the sec gen but the head qtrs? Lord, why me?] I don’t know it Sir.

Him: Hmm, have you heard about Geneva?
Me: Yes

Him: What if I told you it was Geneva?
Me: Then I’d have to go find out after this to make sure

Him: What do you know about Geneva?
Me: I know it’s in Europe.

Him: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, positive.

Him: Where in Europe?
Me: Em, it should be Switzerland

Him: Are you sure?
Me: [It suddenly seems like Sweden but no…] It’s Switzerland

Him: What else do you know about Geneva?
Me: Er, I know they make some really good wristwatches there…
[Somebody shoot me! I feel like the lady in legally blond. First I like the way bankers dress and now I know they make watches in Geneva? Am I insane?]
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What do you guys think?

ps:
[I saw a sane man quarreling with an imbecile at Wuse Market yesterday. Who's the imbecile now?]


18 comments:

tobenna said...

They still ask those kinda questions at job interviews? Dang.

Your replies to your Maggie interviewer was hilarious.

ibiluv said...

babe......u never know....u did your best....there is no fool proof way to answering questions.....

keep ur fingers crossed.........

Afrobabe said...

lmao..babe u no try oh....

But those stupid questions always feak me out so I turn the interview into a joke...current affairs??? a NO NO...

all the best babes...

musco said...

all d best!

i can remember my first major interview.d guy asked me if i wasn't going to turn myself into a 'big' boy if they paid me a certain amount.

job interviews cld be fun sometimes.

Jarrai said...

Seriously!!! they asked your those questions. Lol

My favs:
Him: What else do you know about Geneva?
Me: Er, I know they make some really good wristwatches there…

LMAO....girl that was classic. Heheheheh

Don't worry if the job is yours you'll get it, they can't say u don't have a sense of humour :)

Standtall said...

Hmmmmmmmmm reading this made me feel you were the lady in legally blonde (lol). Dont worry we all blank when it matters, you just need to show your are confidence about yourself n do not be intimidated!!!!

Sprezatura said...

Did he say sarosky or was that a typo, you would have told him Geneva houses all Nigeria's stolen money.

HR people are like alsatians once they are out of their territories, they quiver at everything dont let no retard freak u out

30+ said...

Ah na wa o, how much do they want to pay that the questions are so much like that.

As if the bank has branch in Geneva. Well you tried sha.
You for just mention EFCC guy jeje and tell 'em that is the only one you know.

You have tried your best so God will take care of the Rest.

How you dey?

ejura said...

@tobenna:
I can see they still ask oh! Next thing you'd hear is "how did tom howl when jerry hit his foot with a hammer?"
Thanks for stopping by!

@ ibuluv:
Thanks dearie. My toes are crossed too...I'd cross my spine if I could.

@afrobabe:Lol! I no try abi? The current affairs was something else. Check out the way I follow the news now ehn!

@musco:
Hi Musco!That was a silly question oh? What did he think? You'd turn yourself into a monk if paid a certain amonut?lol!

@jarrai:
lol! I hope I make it but is a sense of humour enough?

@standtall:
legally brunette oh! I hope I exuded confidence so they can wave aside my foolish answers.

@sprezatura:
It's both typo and pronunciation error oh jo!Na Sarkozy. Just that in my mind I always pronouce it Sarosky.I wish you were there to give expo!

@30+:
lol! Abi?I hope they pay well. I need the cash!

oluwaseun said...

na wa o...
i don't think this is a structured interview....
how can the interviewer be talking to you like that? IS she not supposed to be selling the company to you?-like, why you should come work for them.

anyway. goodluck.

webround said...

All the best in your interviews!!

Olamild said...

buhhahahahaha

Free-flowing Florida said...

hahahahahhahahahahahahahaha

but seriously girl, i don't think u did too bad. i've discovered dat it's interviews we think we scattered dat we r not called 4 later, but d ones we r so sure we goofed, we actually passed. have faith dear. God is with u

princesa said...

LMAO!
Ejusky!

That was one funny interview session.

Anyway, there is still hope.No fear.

Andy said...

Ejura, meeeen your current affairs is so...(I withold my comments..lol). By the way they do make cool watches in Geneva.
I am sure you will get the job jare, and send me some cash!

fluffycutething said...

LMAO here oh...

Don't worry i'm sure they were quite impressed LOL

Aphrodite said...

ROTFLMAO!
I liked ur boldness.
If its all about confidence, then babes you've got the job.

bumight said...

I think they were trying to pressure u ( and it seems like they succeeded), u handled it quite fairly.
I once had an interviewer like that, old woman. After I was done, I was so sure I wasnt going to get in to the school, but guess what? I did!
u never know!