Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Scattered rants

-My Primary school class bully just discovered me on face book. Funny, I'm still kinda scared of him.

-Interviewed a guy who told me he studied "architeshture" from A.B.U Zaria. When I asked him what campus he was in, he said "Kai, it's just that I've been under the sun for so long I cannot remember"

-My sister's colleague got his wife a birthday cake but rather than cut the cake with her husband, she went all the way to my sister's boss, cut the cake with him, shared the first slice with him before coming back to her hubby.

-Gave someone a devotional today. It's my first step in evangelizing.I need the boldness. I just said "Have you seen this before?" and "You can have it". And he said "Thank you" and "have a great day".

-My friend's getting married but not to the man she dated for three years. How many women actually marry the men they love? Is your father your mom's true love? Is your mom your dad's true love? I don't wanna know.

-I'm temporarily broke

-I made some home made shawama and it did taste good; now I crave some not home made shawama.

-I'm tired of my clothes. I need new ones

-I need to learn that I do not have to buy everything I see

-I wanna pee but too lazy to visit the ladies

-Why do I get so hungry once I am determined to fast?

-What if today being Wednesday is actually a recycled Sunday of 800 BC?

-Where did yesterday go?

-I want to go to America too!

-It's almost 5pm. Thank God it's a public holiday tomorrow.

Happy Democracy day!

PS: Is democracy the best form of govt? Sometimes I wonder...

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Some of last week and some of this.

Hi peeps!
Thanks for all the comments on the pics. I can't leave individual replies cos I gota run but thank you all. I'd remember them on PMS days when I feel ugly, bloated and irritated.
I've been kinda busy and I'm not sure I'm enjoying it. There's a pile of work on my desk and I find it all overwhelming. And the fact that I get to moderate a focus group discussion in a couple of days makes me really nervous. It's my first time so you can understand the butterflies I have in my tummy. I feel the same way I used to feel back then in primary school when I had to recite multiplication tables before the whole class...I hope I do well. I pray I do well. I want to do well. Oh please go away nervousness!

I was called for the third stage of the interview I told you guys about which means I did well in the second stage answering all those diastema questions. The third stage was a different ball game all together. It was divided into two parts: The written and the oral.
The written consisted of four parts: Communication skills, current affairs, cognate ability and reasoning. How did it go? Hmmm, well, I did what I could. Besides that, no comment. The oral however was, well, er interesting. Here are some excerpts:

Lady interviewer: Good afternoon Ejura. Please take a seat and read this.
[She hands me a sheet and scores me as I pronounce each word]

LI: What is a mission statement?
[This lady has a Margaret Thatcher approach to her questions and a very no nonsense attitude. Plus she's pretty and she knows it.]
Me: A mission statement is a, er, it's like a guide line that pretty much summarizes your purpose and drives you forward.

LI: Oh, really? What is your mission statement?
Me: I think my M.S is to be a reference point...

LI: Don't give me all that rehearsed story. Ejura, give me you. Tell me the truth. What reference point? Reference point where?
Me: Ref point in everything I....
[Rehearsed what? Did I have a clue you were going to be asking me about my MS?]

LI: [Pointing her finger at my face] Don't waste my time girl. I'm not here for that.
Me: But that’s how…

LI: What do you love to do? [She obviously loves interrupting]
Me: I love painting

LI: Oh, you're an artist. If you love painting what are you doing in a bank?
Me: It’s a career I have always wanted to pursue [Which is so far away from the truth].

LI: And why is that?
Me: Er, because I think it is a great….

LI: Don’t give me those lines
Me: Ok, honestly…

LI: Yes, honestly, I like honestly, let’s start with honestly
Me: [What’s with this lady?] Ok, I really like the way bankers look-their appearance. They look crisp and nice and that has always been an attraction for me

LI: You want to work in a bank because of the way bankers look? [Blinks]
Me: Well, that’s one of the reasons and I think you look good too [Plus you didn't want any rehearsed thing so why not go weird?]

LI: Thank you
[Ok, I was sucking up by complimenting her but who cares?]
The second interview:

With a young good looking man. He has a laptop before him and the scene suddenly reminds me of “Who wants to be a millionaire?”

Him: Please sit down
Me: Thank you

Him: You studied French?
Me: Yes

Him: I’m going to be testing your current affairs ability.
[Oh, sugar, honey, ice and tea! Current affairs? My great weakness!]

Him: Who is the president of France?
Me: I know it’s Sarosky but I can’t recall his first name now.

Him: And you studied French. His name is Nicholas Sarosky.
Me: Yes, Nicholas. You’re right. [The name was actually dangling in my brain!]

Him: Who is the secretary to the federal government of Nigeria?
Me: [Oh no!] I’m sorry I do not know

Him: No name rings a bell?
Me: No [Nigeria has a secretary?]

Him: At all? Tell me who you are thinking of?
Me: [The only name in my head is Umar Modibo, minister of the FCT and I know this is so wrong]. Please don’t waste your time sir. I’m afraid I do not know the answer.

Him: Ok, where is the headquarters of the UN?
Me: [I know Ban-ki-moon is the sec gen but the head qtrs? Lord, why me?] I don’t know it Sir.

Him: Hmm, have you heard about Geneva?
Me: Yes

Him: What if I told you it was Geneva?
Me: Then I’d have to go find out after this to make sure

Him: What do you know about Geneva?
Me: I know it’s in Europe.

Him: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, positive.

Him: Where in Europe?
Me: Em, it should be Switzerland

Him: Are you sure?
Me: [It suddenly seems like Sweden but no…] It’s Switzerland

Him: What else do you know about Geneva?
Me: Er, I know they make some really good wristwatches there…
[Somebody shoot me! I feel like the lady in legally blond. First I like the way bankers dress and now I know they make watches in Geneva? Am I insane?]
What do you guys think?

[I saw a sane man quarreling with an imbecile at Wuse Market yesterday. Who's the imbecile now?]

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Na photo...

They are meant to capture moments aren't they?

Please say a prayer for the children in Myanmar and China. Yesterday, I watched on cnn a man who lost his wife and kids to the earthquake in China, rush off to rescue others. He put his pain aside just so he could reach out to someone else. I don't know if I could do that.

My heart wept for him. For them all. For the many children who lost their lives. For those trapped beneath all that rubble. For the kids who are now orphaned. For families now living beneath umbrellas in open fields...

Lord, please send them legions of angels...
Thanks for all the birthday wishes! The next one's next year. Make sure to be there!

Welcome back from ??? bighead!!!!

Friday, May 9, 2008

In my birthday suit!

I woke up this morning answering calls and receiving text messages! Will this continue tomorrow? Nah! I was born only one day afterall. Too bad cos I can live like this for the rest of my life. I don't mean in my birthday suit! Who's going to live the rest of her life naked? Not me! According to princesa and afrobabe, Mba nu! I'm talking about soaking up for eternity in all the sweet attention I'm getting from everyone else but my mom and sis.

Those two ganged up against me this morning and refused to sing me happy birthday song! They said I woke them up demanding it of them [Which is true] and so it won't flow as it ought to.

To make them feel bad, I kept singing "happy birthday to me" while in the bathroom. It didn't work so I've decided not to give em my cake!

You wanna see the cake?

Ain't she chocolatey gorgeous like me?! Ignore that hole in the middle. I had to have a taste of the cake and I wasn't patient enough to wait so... I wish I could give all of blogville a slice but seeing y'all are so far away and that the cake ain't even large enuf to go round, I'd just eat your share and think about y'all in the process. So don't be surprised if you suddenly taste some sweetness in your mouth today. I'm eating and thinking about you!
Do I feel any different today? Not at all. Still I remember when I was nine and how important birthdays were to me then. It was all about adventure and unwrapping presents and begging uncle Sunday to take me to Kingsway or NITC gardens. Now, it's just a reminder that you're living life every year and that God has brought you this far.

Anyway, today I wish myself and all my birthday mates around the world a great day. I also hence forth declare May 9th a public holiday!

Thanks for all your sweet buffday wishes. Y'all are the best. Stop at Smaragd's for drinks and there's an after party at afro's! C u there. Oh, the theme's "tropicana" so make sure to look colourful!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Long post but na job interview oh!

I didn't intend to blog this week what with all the work on my plate but well, here I am and I am no blog addict!
Ok, so I mentioned this job interview I was called for in my previous post. Well, the d-day was Saturday and I did my best to look as fly as I could. When I saw the number of people there, I almost became a nervous wreck.

I gathered we were about 200 candidates there so I'm guessing they like picked everyone that wrote the aptitude test. I thought interviews were supposed to be for the lucky 35 that aced the test out of 3,000 that sat it. That kinda makes you feel really smart with yourself; but with 200 candidates [and 150 more to be interviewed on later dates], you have to fast and pray real hard.

And check out the ladies there-mini skirt wearing ones, yellow legs in sky scraper heels, outrageous hair-do spotting ones, those that know it all, those that didn't know anything, nervous wrecks that had to pee every minute, calm ones, those that complained about the long wait but didn't leave because truth is we all need the job, those that came to meet with friends...this applies to the guys I'm wondering what group of people I fell in, hmmn, thought for later.

Anyway, I was there some minutes before 10:00am since the interview was meant to be for 10:00am on the dot. but guess what? I didn't get interviewed until 9:00pm, yep, 9:00pm. Why?

Here's the gist:
You get called in according to where you seat. The closer you are to the doors that hold the interviewing rooms, the more likely you are to be interviewed in time. No numbers, no nothing, no reward for punctuality. It was all about where you were lucky enough to sit.

See people struggling in spite of the fact that they had their suits and heels on. Not this babe sha-no struggling in my dept. What's yours will be yours 10:00am or 10:00pm. But men, it was a long wait. It was so long I'd have had enough time to conceive and deliver a set of twins and still have three more hours to heal properly before being interviewed.

Sha, sha, my turn came. My lipstick was all gone, my face was oily and my neatly packed hair had danced with some invisible wind so I was not exactly some spicy chick at the moment. Who cared? Plus all the ladies left to be interviewed looked like me. So no impressing the cool dudes anymore. Great.

I walked in when it was my turn and was immediately asked [it was a panel of three; 2 ladies and a guy]:

-Are you among the people that fought during the AP test?
[I am asked to take a seat and the question is repeated and I say-]

-No, I don't fight so I couldn't have been one of them.
[The question is repeated again and I go]

-I wasn't aware there was a fight that day. Was there one?
And they ask me to be honest and tell them if I've ever fought before; and I tell them I did fight in JSS 3 but go on to add that it wasn't exactly a fight but a beating. I beat the culprit with the help of my team. At this point they all burst into laughter.

-You mean with your size you can beat anybody?
[So I'm 56 kg and 5feet 6 tall but you should see me kick ass which of course is a lie. I don't even go near a fight. Instead I say-]

-I'm actually small but mighty.
[And they laugh some more]

Then they go into tell us about what you studied, what you can offer, what dept you'd like to be in...
And I tell them human resources.
And they ask me what human resources is all about.

[Thank God I just concluded a study on one of the banks in Naija and their staff told me alot about their HR dept. I just downloaded some of the info for them].

Then one of the ladies asks me about my gap and mentions that her son is also gap toothed. I don't like my gap and I usually don't like talking about it cos it makes me kinda self conscious and all but not this evening. I smile and we get talking about diastema. I ask her about her son and she's eager to talk about him.
The man amongst them tells me some naija men love gaps and asks me if I've come across such men and I tell him yes and he asks me why I still feel insecure about it and I think for a while and say:

-The thing is I don't believe those men.
There's another round of laughter and I'm wondering how I'm doing. It seems I am making them laugh a lot. Is that good or bad?

I feel I made a mistake though: They asked me what I'd have done differently if I was to be the organizer of the AP test and without acknowledging their efforts, I sort of rushed into telling them how I'd do this and that differently. I don't think that was particularly nice but they kept nodding their heads in agreement so I'm hoping they didn't catch my error. Please God.

Well, I get back to my current job and find I have a pay rise. Finally.
Now what to do?

The bank's pay will be higher and right now it's all about the money for me. Still I kinda love my present job...

Kai, choices...
Wetin una think?

Friday, May 2, 2008

tagged and some

I have a report to write with a two week deadline; I've spent one week already and I'm not close to finishing it. My eyes ache from sitting infront of a computer screen all day, my fingers and butt need a massage, my tummy's hungry and I just want to sleep...

And now I've been tagged. I'd better do it now sha because it's all serious business next week. Oh plus I have a bank interview tomorrow. I've never wanted to be a banker but I won't mind the career change. I hope I scale through cos all I know about banking right now is "Goodmorning, pls I'd like to check my balance...". That kind of thing sha.
It still baffles me that I passed the apt test whatwith all the amazing maths questions conceived by some deranged professor they were busy asking us that day! Even "tinini tanana biko biko" failed me in the exam hall. Anyway, wish me luck y'all!

Ok back to being tagged.

Here are the rules: the person who tagged you…
2. Mention the rules in your blog…
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours...
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them…
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged...

6 unspectacular quirks? Ok, here goes?

-I stand on one foot when doing the dishes and chew my lower lip and the inside of my cheek at the same time. It helps me finish the dishes in time.

-When I get a new outfit, I put it on like once every week and do a dance or a monologue infront of the mirror even before I finally wear it out. And it could take me a whole month to get to wear it anywhere.

-I've been collecting seeds recently. I take the pain to dry them up and then pour them into a bowl. I don't know why I do this but I do. Currently I have dried watermelon seeds, date seeds and agbalumo/udara [I don't know the English word for it] seeds. I'm looking for more. Could you get me some?

-I still doodle like a child. I can't help it. In my books, my bible, pieces of paper, table tops...I don't do walls however. Not yet.

-I can be very indecisive when it comes to crossing roads. I get halfway, see a vehicle seemingly charging toward me and I start wondering whether to complete my crossing, run back to where I am coming from or just stand where I am. Somehow I always make the right decision. Guess what it is?

-My eyes always tear up when I see adverts with children in them. It could be anything from
"Mommy, mommy, I learnt to tie my shoelaces" to "It's my brother's ball" to...[yawn. I'm hungry]

I'm lazy when it comes to linking blogs but make I sha try.

I tagg afrobabe-I feel she still has 6 more quirks to!
Then I tag princesa, andy, em today's ranting, aloofar, ladyguide and everybody else abeg.

Have a great weekend oh!

It's my buffday May 9th. I ain't celebrating the age. I no gree say i don old. No be just yesterday them born me? Which one come be 20 something?
Gifts are however welcome!