Wednesday, February 27, 2008


As a child, swinging was what I did for fun. I would place my little behind on the wooden seat and beg John, the gardener to push my swing just so I could gather enough momentum to see me through my air bound journey.

It was such a thrill to see myself go higher and higher with every swing while Mama Emma would stand by and sing:

"Lilo da dadi,
Lilo da dadi,
ka da yaro ya fado..."

Translated: "Swinging is sweet but let the child not fall..." [Pardon my Hausa].

I can't remember when last I swung [swinged? swang? oh whatever] though.

So you can imagine how thrilled I was when I found out about the swingers club.

A swinging club? Like exercise or something? Trust these whites to come up with different sports! That pleasurable activity that thrilled me so much as a child is now a sport! Fancy that!

Silly me! How was I to know that swinging would have any connection whatsoever with sex? I'm fast learning however that words do have more than one meaning these days. Eg. A milk shake is no longer just a drink...

So back to swinging other wise known as the lifestyle. Why in anyone's name would a married couple go to a club to have sex with another married couple? It beats me, seriously.

John and Mary need to spice up their sex
lives and the only way to do it is to go to a swingers club and have sex with
Shawn and Nancy? Or John would watch Mary have sex with Shawn in order to feel
some sexual excitement?

Couples sleep with other couples to have fun? My goodness! What have we become? It seems with every generation a new form of sexual depravity is created. Laboratories are constructed in eccentric minds and new formulas are is unleashed in the most sickening creative ways!

I wonder what the devil sees in sex that makes him want to destroy it so. Why is he so bent on distorting the original? And why do people just go with the flow? Why can't we stop and really see how none of it makes sense.

I remember when Limbo was on heat. She wasn't such a pretty bitch but then all the dogs in the neighbourhood went after her like she was the queen bee. I watched them gather around her and a brawl always ensued but the strongest or maybe the most determined always won. The others at least had the decency to leave. They didn't all stand around and engage in an orgy! No, they had the common sense to leave the bitch alone with the dog of her dreams! And I thought homosapiens were the higher species...

May the Lord help us with all the self control we need. May this generation seek the truth and may we find it!
I'm going swinging soon and when I say swinging, I mean sitting on that wooden chair and swaying back and forth till I am high up in the sky. My goodness, even this sentence seems ambigious! Lord help us!

Monday, February 25, 2008


I'm not exactly an African Magic fan but with my mum in possession of the remote I usually don't have many choices. And if I don't have a good novel to escape to, I resign myself to sitting by her side on the settee and trying to amuse myself with the amazing [for lack of another adjective] movies shown on African magic.
Recently, I've been seeing a lot of Ghanaian movies on the channel and I'm glad for the change. I don't particularly enjoy Nigerian movies so why not try the black star?

However, it seems Gollywood [I'm not sure what they are called but I assume they also bear the "wood" name ] can boast of only four actors at the moment. You would come to the same conclusion if you've watched the number of Ghanaian movies I have watched in a space of one week and seen the same cast in all of them!

The movie I watched yesterday was quite entertaining by African movie standards and left me in stitches as they always do and this not because they are intended to be comedies.

It's title?
Very catchy-"Beyonce, the president's daughter"

Lead characters with extremely interesting names as follows:

1. President's daughter- Beyonce [Coincidentally an American artiste's name]

2. Lover boy-Raj [Indian name]

3. Lover boy's girlfriend before Beyonce comes into picture- Ciara.

[Another artiste's name]

Story line-The indian movie-"The promise" which I call Sunita. You remember that movie don't you?

Summary of the movie:

Beyonce and Ciara fight for Raj's love. Lol! The names just make me laugh. What happened to all the Ghanaian names? It didn't exactly end like The promise did though. This one's ending was a waste of film resources. I mean who writes these stories?

Anyway, here's introducing the ONLY four actors in Gollywood-[I got their pics off the screen but couldn't get the fourth character's face because Beyonce had poured acid on her by that time and when she resurfaced she had a different face and a different body and different hair and...ok, just got her off the net now.]

Van Vicker
Fine half cast dude, lover boy character in all the movies, has the ability to cry at the drop of a hat,cries too much in my opinion, fine hair. Maybe Teco Benson should cast him in an action flic for a change one of these days. Won't be bad to see him act alongside Hanks Anuku.
Played Raj.

Nadia Buari
I love this lady's eyes! They are doll like and give her this "I can't hurt a fly" look. She's also soft spoken and calm. Like the dude above, she's half cast too. Ghanaians like Nigerians I can see favour light skinned actors. Such a shame because I know many talented dark skinned people. Even yours truly who is chocolate skinned wouldn't mind a stint at acting. We should just go tone up, I guess.
She played Beyonce-the president's daughter.

This slender light skinned Ghanaian acts the mother role in every movie I have seen her in. She's either Raj's mother in one film or Beyonce's mother in another. She's usually always portrayed as wealthy and wicked.
In Beyonce, the president's daughter she once again acted mother to our fine half cast guy.

Jackie Appiah
This is the only dark skinned member of the quartet. She has a very pretty face and lovely eyes in my opinion. She suffers a lot for love in her movies. You should see what she went through in Beyonce-the president's daughter! But what's that they say about African magic? Yes, where love conquers all!

I think it's high time they organized a talent hunt in Ghana to fish out new talents. Naija should do same too; highly talented potential actresses like me should not be let in the dark for too long. Give us some spotlight!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Amour is French for love

Valentine's over but love is still in the air in Abuja. I am not talking about the valentines, chocolates and cards still on display in many shops around. No, I am talking about the real thing. It seems Cupid's been very busy shooting those arrows!
Otherwise how can you explain the fact that three of my very close friends have found love and are even altar bound anytime soon. You should see them tell their stories.Why, it's all they talk about these days and I am happily lovesick for them.

-Eyes huge and bright
-Glowing skin
-Enormous smiles

One even lost the weight she's been struggling to lose for a while now and they all look more beautiful and confident. When I ask them what they like about their guys, read what I get.

Friend 1:
He's so nice and I am so at peace in my heart. We share many interests and I can talk to him about anything and everything...He complements me. He makes me laugh. We talk for hours and we still have so much to talk about everytime we speak again...

Friend 2:
He's so nice and has a great sense of humour. I can talk to him about everything and he loves me so much. He's always bringing me gifts. Look at my phone, see all the texts he sends me...

Friend 3:
He's so nice and calm and he makes me feel so at peace. With him, I can talk about anything and everything. He doesn't have so much money but I love him and he's just who I need...

You should hear them speak, you'd think they are singing. And when they mention their guys' names, you'd swear their tongues were dipped in honey! Really. Sometimes I can even see- as in actually see -the glitter in their eyes! And their guys all share something in common-they are ready to talk with their women about everything and anything. Bros, that's really important to us oh!
Friends I wish you the best! You deserve great men and I hope you've truly found them now.

***Oh Cupid, shoot me soon, I beseech thee! And please use the right arrow this time. I wasn't at all pleased with the last one***
Have a great weekend!
Ps: I took the picture of the chickens. What do you guys think? Do you think I have what it takes to be a pro photographer someday?

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Thou shall not wear men's clothing!

Ok, now I am beginning to think that sometimes we take things a little bit too far in the name of spirituality and religion.

Badagry experience:
I was in French school in Badagry and they had this "extra mile" fellowship that held after all our compulsory socio-educatif[ve] classes. Socio-educatif was a period were all the students gathered in the hall and watched movies, or debated or acted dramas etc. It was meant to be fun and so we were allowed to dress casual. Well, casual for me was my t-shirt and my shorts which were actually very decent since my shorts were knee length. Ok, so oneday I am invited for the extra mile and I go. There's another girl wearing t-shirts and shorts like I am and everyone seems ok with it when all of a sudden a girl goes into the spirit and starts shaking, jerking and prophesying. She said something about God being angry with those of us that had shorts on and how we were to desist from such behaviour blah blah blah.
My attendance at this meeting was limited after that.

Sokoto experience:
As a corp member in Sokoto there was this early morning prayer I used to attend in church. It entailed getting up as early as 5 am, going to church and praying for like an hour or so. I was glad to attend it because I needed that kind of fellowship at the time. It was the harmattan season and if you've ever lived in the north, you'll understand how extreme the weather can be when it is cold. So I'd put on my trousers, a large sweater, wrap my face up and together with my friends hit the road. Sokoto doesn't really have buses and taxis as means of public transportation. They have lots of bikes though and it is easier to climb those machines when you have trousers on.
Well, one morning the pastor gets on the pulpit and bans all ladies from putting on trousers! Can you imagine that! He didn't mind that it was cold or that the bikes weren't exactly skirt friendly, he just wanted us to stop putting on trousers. I tried to obey but it didn't work for me so I stopped going.

My little cousin:
This is the reason for this post. I went just last week to see my four year old cousin because it was her birthday and I was mighty glad to see her. I love this girl so much that sometimes I am tempted to steal her away from her mom and make her mine. Anyway her mom told me how her little princess was brought out infront of the entire sunday school class by the sunday school coordinator.
She said he asked the other children this question:
"Is this child a girl or a boy?"
The children responded "She's a boy!"[Obviously he had already taught them his version]
Then the coordinator said:
"Whoever her parents are should take note. Girls should not wear trousers to church. As from two years old girls should not be allowed to wear trousers to church!"
I was so angry when I heard this! So livid! I mean what does all that mean? Is a four year old seducing any man in her baggy jeans trousers? What exactly is the definition of men's clothing? Is it those funny looking skirts or whatever it is called that the Scots wear? Or is it the gowns that Moses and all are portrayed wearing in those bible movies? Please someone help me understand this...

Monday, February 18, 2008

No heading

Yep, I am back and pretty much excited about having a blog again. I'm not sure I am as excited about the actual act of blogging though. I think I'm having writer's block and this block feels really huge.

I've been trying to write a book for a while now. Actually, I think I have been trying to do this for like three years now. But the problem is I can't get past the first three pages. Geskiya, I have tried but... And I so want to win the pink prize or even the purple since Chimamanda has already taken the orange one.

Work is kinda slow at the moment and I am bored. Boredom is a bad kingdom to be in. You either start thinking more or yawning more.
Recently, I've been thinking about dreams and reality. You know how it is when you have these amazing lofty dreams but reality seems to be sucking the living day lights out of them. The whole scenerio just drains your energy.
You want to be successful but the journey up that hill seems pretty slow and too tough. You do all you know to do but somehow it's like sipping from the ocean-you don't see any effect.

And when you've just about had it all, a friend calls and tells you she just landed this huge contract or bought another car or got this raise or got another cool job...
And you're screaming excitedly with her saying "Congrats! I am so happy for you!" when you're dying from envy inside-loving her and hating her at the same time.

*Sigh* Life is beautifully complicated. I really don't know how I'd manage without God.

Fast forward next five years and you're calling a friend bursting with excitement with news of your mega new job. She screams and celebrates with you all the while burning with envy. The cycle continues.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Unveiling the ejura continues-2008 model!

Ok, I got myself a new home. Thanks to extreme makeover-blog edition!
No more "phantoming" about like
Fantasy Queen put it. So this is the beginning of the ejura continues-2008 model. It's basically going to be the same thing as ejura; it's only slighty modified.
I'll blog when I have the zeal to and chill when I don't and in between, I'll live life as best as I can.
Y'all are invited to a house warming party. I'd supply the glasses, you bring the wine.

There's going to be an after party here and here too. cyber your way there!!! Ciao