Monday, June 30, 2008

Season finale of anything love related or maybe not...

I really don't have any idea what to blog about and the anonymous tip about the happenings at Mirage's page have left me, well, I don't know...is that thing going on there for real?

Anyway, I was actually thinking of starting a match making kinda thingy just for wellsbaba but after what I just read at that page, I've decided to kill that idea, not that it would have even worked out in the first place. I was just looking for some fun.

Marriage. That word! How I dreamt about it the moment I was introduced into the land of fairy tales by Walt Disney cartoons. Every doll I ever had was my baby-there was no need for a father just then. My hormones hadn't started raging, my life was sheer childish bliss where the prince was an inconsequential frog who only gave my imagination wings.

My parents weren't a very happy couple and with time they split. I was happy. I had begged them for a divorce for so long. They said they wanted to stick together for the children; the children were telling them to give it up. They didn't want to. They were killing me everyday with their fights.Words of hate thrown at each other like air and I wondered how on earth they ever loved. I sought solace in my imagination. I wished my frog would appear now for that kiss. I wanted my own husband. I was going to be happy with him. He would love me and we would never fight.

I nursed this dream until I went to school. In a playground of young testosterone charged boys, all I knew was fear. When they said they wanted a relationship, I saw the shackles of marriage. I was going to be independent. I didn't need a man in my life. I would have kids but raise them alone. That way they would be happy and know peace in the cradles they weren't given a right to choose.

But Ar wouldn't let me be. He was always there trying to change my resolve. I had feelings for him but I would not let them out. I didn't need him. I needed no man. He persisted gently, afraid to hurt me. He saw me cry but I won't let him clean my tears. I didn't believe his words and I wanted no part of him. I fled. He relented. We loved each other but I was afraid.

Years and years. My parents were finally civil to each other. More years and years and they even started chatting on phone again. Sometimes they'd take two steps forward only to move five steps backward. Life went on, slow and unpredictable.

Ar found me again and this time I was ready. My fears didn't die but I was determined to take that step into his arms. Fear and hope clash in my heart even now. Fear of repeating the same mistakes as my folks. Hope that it's possible I can make it right with Ar. Fear of running out on him again. Hope that I would abandon myself in love to grow. Perfect love knows no fear. The torch of love may just drive this darkness of fear.

My parents want to reconcile. Over 10 years of separation and now I watch them chase each other again in the game of love. Father pursues and mother smiles shyly. I stand by my window just watching...maybe I am yet to grace another wedding where I would be maid of honor to the woman that gave me birth and to the man who planted the seed.

Their drama may be over; mine is just about to start. I pray thee God of love please lead me.




PS:
@ Wellsbaba: when I was done with my post, I clicked on spell check and your name was highlighted. I clicked on your name and guess the option the spell check gave me: Beelzebub! It just cracked me up now!!!!!!!!!
I just did afrobabe and it said :everybody!
Ejura even has Okra as an option!

17 comments:

AlooFar said...

Hey Ejura,

I must have told you before... you need to write a book. You've got the gift. I like the fluidity of this post. Serious but sensual. Deep and touchy. I'm lol @ your pop and mom... after 10 years of separation!

I seem to not get one thing though... is this post also meant to announce the end of a relationship between Ar and E?

Your parents' drama may be over, yours is about to start... but with a different and interesting plot. Amen somebody ;)

How are you?

UndaCovaSista said...

Aww that's so sweet i.e. your relationship and your parents'

musco said...

u shld do everything to encourage ur parent's new-found love skills.

love overcomes all things.u don't have to be scared of falling in love & letting ur guards down 4 Ar!

it could just be d best thing that ever happened to u!

30+ said...

After 10years, I suppose never say never.

You and Ar, well pray and pray the more and let God guide you

xxx

30+ said...

Please delete that anon commment on your last post.

Don't like gist mongers.

Charizard said...

I agree with aloofar...the fluidity in ur writing scares me!

Ahhh! like I could go on reading ur writing for...for like ever...

The mirage episode...leaves alot of questions unanswered if u ask me...

Mayn, love...is a big risk..take it...

QMoney said...

I think the post is to announce the beginning not the end!go for it joooo,life itself is a risk as much as love is!it will be well all things been equal

ejura said...

@ aloofer:Me? Write a book? Well, I’d drop my first line the moment you write yours-those stories you have in your head let em out!
No, it ain’t over btwn Ar and E. I was just voicing out fears. I want to make it work btwn us and he’s a wonderful man.

“Your parents' drama may be over, yours is about to start... but with a different and interesting plot. Amen somebody”

Amen Aloofar! Amen!

@ undacovasis:
It’s been ages! Yeah, I wish the parents the best. They’re kinda rusty now.

@ musco:
Thanks! I’m learning to let down my guard and break down the tower on which he stands. I’d try to encourage the folks but right now, it’s just good to sit and watch. It actually makes me laugh-the good kind of laugh

@ 30+:
Ryan Seacrest in the house!!!!!! Yeah, never say never. They’ve taught me that now. Thanks for dropping by. Thanks for leaving yr autograph too! Lol
As for the anon tip, I’d probably delete it like you said but ain’t gossip juicy

@ Charizad: Thanks for the compliment and for enjoying my post. Maybe I should write a book where aloofar is the dark handsome villain and you are the one who brings him down only to set him free again…that kinda thing.
Love is a risk. I agree. I’d take it anyways.

@ QMoney: Yeah!!! To a beginning not an end. I agree with you totally. I feel like taosting to it even. Thanks for stopping by mine.

Natasha said...

wow, that was deep. I guess we can learn from the mistakes of our parents and try not to repeat them. Good Blog.
Side bar, what is there to do in Abuja for fun?

zara (my alter ego) said...

hmm ejura.. ur parents arent the oly ones who fight oo.. mine too do so badly sometimes i wish i wasnt born, other times, they are so lovey dovey i think what happens all the times u fight?..story for another post.. abeg let no drama start oo.. we dont need it.. we like gossip but not that kind..hehe..goodluck to ur parents dear, maybe it would be second time lucky for both of them.

Aijay said...

Marriage... we can only pray to God to for guidance.

How u dey? When is ur interview? I'm still around...

Aijay said...

Marriage... we can only pray to God to for guidance.

How u dey? When is ur interview? I'm still around...

StuffAPIU said...

www.stuffafricanpeoplehate.com

naijalines said...

I have just done a post on that saga you mentioned. I think it's probably best not to mention names/blogs cos it gives it more publicity which is what the writer would like.

Anyway how u dey? Don't worry about marriage, sista. God will guide you and help remove your fears. You will marry the one God Has chosen. Amen. Take care.

LG said...

awwwww sweery,
I'm happy for ur folks o, i hope i get an invite , so i can c mumsy shake sumn, lollll
God ll see u thru-AMEN

BTW U ve been tagged , oya run to my blog for details, lollllll

Afrobabe said...

what??? my name gave option of everybody???? it better not be implying I do every body oh....hmmm maybe it means i am friendly with everybody...lol...

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ur parents trying after 10yrs actually brough a smile to my face...I wish them all the luck and hopefully they make each other happy again...

Heath said...

This is a very nice read...human relationships are extremely complex and this just gives another example of it.

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