Long post but na job interview oh!

I didn't intend to blog this week what with all the work on my plate but well, here I am and I am no blog addict!
Ok, so I mentioned this job interview I was called for in my previous post. Well, the d-day was Saturday and I did my best to look as fly as I could. When I saw the number of people there, I almost became a nervous wreck.

I gathered we were about 200 candidates there so I'm guessing they like picked everyone that wrote the aptitude test. I thought interviews were supposed to be for the lucky 35 that aced the test out of 3,000 that sat it. That kinda makes you feel really smart with yourself; but with 200 candidates [and 150 more to be interviewed on later dates], you have to fast and pray real hard.

And check out the ladies there-mini skirt wearing ones, yellow legs in sky scraper heels, outrageous hair-do spotting ones, those that know it all, those that didn't know anything, nervous wrecks that had to pee every minute, calm ones, those that complained about the long wait but didn't leave because truth is we all need the job, those that came to meet with friends...this applies to the guys too...now I'm wondering what group of people I fell in, hmmn, thought for later.

Anyway, I was there some minutes before 10:00am since the interview was meant to be for 10:00am on the dot. but guess what? I didn't get interviewed until 9:00pm, yep, 9:00pm. Why?

Here's the gist:
You get called in according to where you seat. The closer you are to the doors that hold the interviewing rooms, the more likely you are to be interviewed in time. No numbers, no nothing, no reward for punctuality. It was all about where you were lucky enough to sit.

See people struggling in spite of the fact that they had their suits and heels on. Not this babe sha-no struggling in my dept. What's yours will be yours 10:00am or 10:00pm. But men, it was a long wait. It was so long I'd have had enough time to conceive and deliver a set of twins and still have three more hours to heal properly before being interviewed.

Sha, sha, my turn came. My lipstick was all gone, my face was oily and my neatly packed hair had danced with some invisible wind so I was not exactly some spicy chick at the moment. Who cared? Plus all the ladies left to be interviewed looked like me. So no impressing the cool dudes anymore. Great.

I walked in when it was my turn and was immediately asked [it was a panel of three; 2 ladies and a guy]:

-Are you among the people that fought during the AP test?
[I am asked to take a seat and the question is repeated and I say-]

-No, I don't fight so I couldn't have been one of them.
[The question is repeated again and I go]

-I wasn't aware there was a fight that day. Was there one?
And they ask me to be honest and tell them if I've ever fought before; and I tell them I did fight in JSS 3 but go on to add that it wasn't exactly a fight but a beating. I beat the culprit with the help of my team. At this point they all burst into laughter.

-You mean with your size you can beat anybody?
[So I'm 56 kg and 5feet 6 tall but you should see me kick ass which of course is a lie. I don't even go near a fight. Instead I say-]

-I'm actually small but mighty.
[And they laugh some more]

Then they go into tell us about what you studied, what you can offer, what dept you'd like to be in...
And I tell them human resources.
And they ask me what human resources is all about.

[Thank God I just concluded a study on one of the banks in Naija and their staff told me alot about their HR dept. I just downloaded some of the info for them].

Then one of the ladies asks me about my gap and mentions that her son is also gap toothed. I don't like my gap and I usually don't like talking about it cos it makes me kinda self conscious and all but not this evening. I smile and we get talking about diastema. I ask her about her son and she's eager to talk about him.
The man amongst them tells me some naija men love gaps and asks me if I've come across such men and I tell him yes and he asks me why I still feel insecure about it and I think for a while and say:

-The thing is I don't believe those men.
There's another round of laughter and I'm wondering how I'm doing. It seems I am making them laugh a lot. Is that good or bad?

I feel I made a mistake though: They asked me what I'd have done differently if I was to be the organizer of the AP test and without acknowledging their efforts, I sort of rushed into telling them how I'd do this and that differently. I don't think that was particularly nice but they kept nodding their heads in agreement so I'm hoping they didn't catch my error. Please God.

Well, I get back to my current job and find I have a pay rise. Finally.
Now what to do?

The bank's pay will be higher and right now it's all about the money for me. Still I kinda love my present job...

Kai, choices...
Wetin una think?

tagged and some

I have a report to write with a two week deadline; I've spent one week already and I'm not close to finishing it. My eyes ache from sitting infront of a computer screen all day, my fingers and butt need a massage, my tummy's hungry and I just want to sleep...

And now I've been tagged. I'd better do it now sha because it's all serious business next week. Oh plus I have a bank interview tomorrow. I've never wanted to be a banker but I won't mind the career change. I hope I scale through cos all I know about banking right now is "Goodmorning, pls I'd like to check my balance...". That kind of thing sha.
It still baffles me that I passed the apt test whatwith all the amazing maths questions conceived by some deranged professor they were busy asking us that day! Even "tinini tanana biko biko" failed me in the exam hall. Anyway, wish me luck y'all!

Ok back to being tagged.

Here are the rules:
1.link the person who tagged you…
2. Mention the rules in your blog…
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours...
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them…
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged...


6 unspectacular quirks? Ok, here goes?

-I stand on one foot when doing the dishes and chew my lower lip and the inside of my cheek at the same time. It helps me finish the dishes in time.

-When I get a new outfit, I put it on like once every week and do a dance or a monologue infront of the mirror even before I finally wear it out. And it could take me a whole month to get to wear it anywhere.

-I've been collecting seeds recently. I take the pain to dry them up and then pour them into a bowl. I don't know why I do this but I do. Currently I have dried watermelon seeds, date seeds and agbalumo/udara [I don't know the English word for it] seeds. I'm looking for more. Could you get me some?

-I still doodle like a child. I can't help it. In my books, my bible, pieces of paper, table tops...I don't do walls however. Not yet.

-I can be very indecisive when it comes to crossing roads. I get halfway, see a vehicle seemingly charging toward me and I start wondering whether to complete my crossing, run back to where I am coming from or just stand where I am. Somehow I always make the right decision. Guess what it is?

-My eyes always tear up when I see adverts with children in them. It could be anything from
"Mommy, mommy, I learnt to tie my shoelaces" to "It's my brother's ball" to...[yawn. I'm hungry]

****************
I'm lazy when it comes to linking blogs but make I sha try.

I tagg afrobabe-I feel she still has 6 more quirks to share.lol!
Then I tag princesa, andy, em today's ranting, aloofar, ladyguide and everybody else abeg.

Have a great weekend oh!

ps:
It's my buffday May 9th. I ain't celebrating the age. I no gree say i don old. No be just yesterday them born me? Which one come be 20 something?
Gifts are however welcome nonetheless.lol!

Rice and stew very plenty...

Mama Iyabo: Customer, how now?
Mama B: Fine oh!

Mama Iyabo: Abeg give me two bags of rice.
Mama B: The money don add oh!

Mama Iyabo: You like money too much jo. No be 6000 for bag? How much you wan add on top again?
Mama B: Rice don cost oh! Na 12,000 for one bag now.

Mama Iyabo: 12 gini? Na play you dey play or what?
Mama B: Which kain play now? Market woman the play?

Mama Iyabo: 12 thou wetin? You mean say my two bag na 24,000.
Mama B: Na so I see am.

PS:
I don't know about everywhere else but the rate at which mosquitos are attacking us in Abuja is crazy. I've used all the insecticides I know and the result is no different. Bagon, Raid, Mobil, Mortein...Anyone know anything else I can use? Suggestions anyone?

Nothing much to talk about

Today I woke up feeling like a truck had run over my nose. I hate Catarrh! I hate it so much. I started having the symptoms yesterday morning and by night it had become a full fledged cold. I've soaked myself in hot water, drank tea, applied Robb all over my chest and even swallowed a tablet of actifed but my nose is still blocked. I feel like yanking it off and scraping all the catarrh out! (I know this isn't lady like but who cares now jo). Plus I had a bad hair day this morning.

So, I've been reading the comments you guys left me on the undies thingy and laughing in spite of the pain I feel in my chest. Brothers, make una the make mouth oh! Una well done. None panty washers! Who even wants you to touch their undies sef?!

So I went ablogging this morning and here's small gist on the posts that are up as I understand them.

Ladyguide: She's our guide oh and her posts are really full of guiding materials. Current post [That is if she doesn't put something else up like in the next 10 secs] is "When do you start flogging your kids?" Go leave your comments there.

Afrobabe: This sista sha...I...ok, this post has a picture attached to it. On first glance it's just a pic until you look closer and you see it's more than a pic.... Hers talks about "When to have sex in a relationship". She actually wanted to put up something political and serious and stuff, according to her, but she came up with this instead.
PS: Abeg, that her advice sha get as e be. Afrobabe, you no go kill me!

Today's ranting: She is still on about the general oh! I'm thinking it's Sani Abacha but there are so many African generals like that in Africa that it could be any number of them.

Free flowing florida: Her post is on pregnancy, abortion and the hypocrisy of it all. And I'm asking myself, what would I do if I got preg today. I'm pro life and all but what would I do when faced with a growing egg in my womb? Speaking of which, I heard Barrak Obama made one "Baby killer" oops in a speech. I don't have the full gist yet sha.


**Men, una see the fight for Delta State, House of Assembly? Are those guys touts or leaders? Kai!**

Princesa: Yeah, her bro got married and she has the pics up. They all look splendid in Blue and Yellow. I wonder what my own colour will be? What if I use black?

Andy: Finally some drama in the medical world! Two ladies have a crush on our dear recently married Andy! He's become crush sandwich and his post about it is so hilarious. Way to go Doc!

30+: I'm not sure what I read now but did she really say something about going bald? I don't think so!

Aloofar: Is still reading Richard Branson's "Screw it, let's do it" oh! I can't wait to read it myself.

Smaragd: She's got some facts on her post. So the fear of insects is called Entomophobia? I didn't know that. What is the fear for a specific insect called because I am darn scared of cockroaches! I hate em, I can't kill em and I can't sleep when I see one! Once I kept a vigil in my room because there was one high up on the wall and it was too late to beg anyone to help me kill the brown warrior. Some of them look like they've been around for 100 years. Kai! I don't even like spraying them with insecticide because they get crazy and start to fly...no, those things are demonic!

Aijay: Make una help me beg this madam to update! She's been reminiscing for so long now. Aijay, please do something!

Honey well: She has something on "Bite me". Something she saw on ladi's blog. She also has a video up on Steve Harvey. I'm yet to watch it though.

Kai, I'm tired let me rest small.

I painted my nails a deep red abi na maroon today and I am not sure whether I should go look for gloves to wear or just flaunt em. That colour is so bold I'm not sure why I chose it. Actually, the girl at the saloon assured me it was fine but now I'm thinking of suing her for negative influence! I wish I were in America where I could make a fortune off suing people! I'd sue the amebo security men at my office. I'd sue my boss's P.A for continuous toasting even after I said I no want. I'd sue my neighbour for leaving his gen on all night. Haba, na only him need light?! I'd sue the guy who stepped on my toes and didn't apologize. I'd sue the electronic security doors in that bank that keeps screaming "metal, metal, metal". Whether my teeth has metal in it I don't know...an endless list of cases oh jo.

Can you wash your wife's undies?

This was the topic of the heated argument in my office recently.
The guys brought it up actually. [I'm not married so why should I bother about this kain talk now. Plus I enjoy washing em myself at the moment so...]

Anyway, all the guys save for one said no.

Their reasons:
-Why should I wash my wife's undies?
-Why should I wash my wife's undies?
-Why should I wash my wife's undies?


Then they added:
-Why should I wash my wife's undies?
-Why should I wash my wife's undies?
-If I'd even do it at all, then it has to be when she is really ill. And I'd get a
house help to do it for her sef.
-My uncle is my mentor and I've never seen him do it for his wife. The day he
does it, then I'd do it too.

From the looks on their faces, you'd think they were asked to kill their mothers or rape a mosquito or do something extremely outrageous!


So I said:
I don't think I'd like my husband to wash my undies and I'd never suggest it to him either but what if he does? [I mean what's the big deal?]

Them:
-That is a weak man!
-Not in this century! No man! Ish!
-Na juju!
-Naija man?!

Me:
What if he just wants to help me because he wants to? After all, I'd be washing his boxers for him too and he doesn't even have to ask me to do it. I'd pick them out of the dirty cloth basket and soak them in detergent all the while singing "The things I do for love"[And I know some men leave very disgusting things in their boxers these days]

Them:
-Well, it's your job to wash his boxers!
-You're a woman!

Me:Ouch!Actually, I consider myself to be of greater importance than that!

I don't consider myself a feminist [I still need men in my world even though it kinda belongs to them] but in the face of these arrogant over inflated "egorized" pigs, I find myself wanting to sign up for a women libbers club or something!

Them:
They start shouting, laughing, screaming, making a lot of noise, on and on but I finally manage to catch their attention.

So I say:
Guess what I'd do for a man who just ups and washes my undies for me not because I asked him to but because he loves me and seeks an unusual channel of expression for this love? [What's even so unusual about it?]

Them [With ugly smirks on their faces]:
-What? What?
-Nothing she fit do! Nothing she go do!

Me:
I'd have the bed sheet scented, run some warm water in the bath tub, soak him in it and scrub his back after getting into the tub with him; I'd towel him dry and give him a massage, rubbing oil gently over his skin, claiming every inch of his body with my lips... and make sure our third child is conceived that night!

Them:
It suddenly seems like they're salivating.
-*Cough* Whatever
-I'd still not wash my wife's undies. I'd do anything else but that.

Me:
Well, you ain't gonna get that kind of loving then and you'd never have your wildest fantasy fulfilled[Nothing too weird please]

********
What's the difference between helping your woman peel onions and washing her undies? Really? One seems too degrading for male egos or what?
It's all bull. [Jesus washed twelve men's badly calloused feet in water! Isn't that like a hint on what humility should be all about? But I guess this doesn't in anyway concern a husband after all the bible only advises him to "love his wife" and love could be anything from making love to your wife without giving her a sweet warm hug first [Love is made on the bed right?] to letting her sit in the kitchen all of Saturday while you catch up on your sports [After all you're always at home for her right? I mean you could be in a club with your peeps right now. What will she say then?]

****************
I'd never ask my husband to wash my undies but if he surprises me with a gift like this, why not baby?

Truth is love begins in the kitchen and everywhere else but the bedroom!

Ejura says Yes

Relationship gist again...it's that season...

So I said yes to him.
and now I'm scared.
He's the serious kind of guy,
The one who isn't out to break your heart,
The one you can trust.
I've never really been that kind of girl,
My longest relationship was 7 months,
I'm afraid of commitment.
I keep holding back,
They say I've got fences around me,
Fences I put up myself,
Well, now I want to break free,
So I said yes.

However now that I've said yes to him,
Other guys are popping out of the shadows,
They all want to get married,
Where were there all this while huh?
What where they doing?
I've walked down the same street for a year now,
Lived in the same neighbourhood for that long too,
Why didn't they see me then?
Were they blind
Or have I changed?

Mominto says it's my time.
She says every woman has her season,
when men chase her like moths to a flame
just so she can have a whole lot of options.
I don't know which is better:
Having a whole lot of options or just knowing who the "chosen one" is?
She says to use this time well cos it may never come again and even if it does, it may take a while...
That's one reason why some women remain spinsters;
They didn't recognize when their time came.

Well, I've said yes,
and I'm going to stick to that.
He's got a great heart
and I know that's what counts.
I love him and he loves me.
God keep us together.
Amen!

Some memorable first dates

Date 1: With the "I'm so perfect man"
Me: I'm so sorry I'm late, couldn't get a cab fast enough. [I was like 20mins late]
Him: No, it's ok
Me: I'm really sorry
Him: No, it's fine
Me: So tell me about yourself
Him: Well, I am a very time conscious person. When I tell somebody a particular hour, I stick to it.
[I thought he said he was ok with my being late]
Much later:
Him: What church do you attend?
Me: House on the rock
Him: Oh, I used to go there until I saw the light. Don't worry, you'd get there soon.
[What?!!Telling a potential friend she is in darkness on the first date? Who died and made you judge?]

Date 2: With the Narcissist
Him: Do you like sports?
Me: Yes, I like to watch...
Him: [Interrupts me] I play bball, football...I'm really good with sports.
Me: Oh, that's good
Him: Do you like to travel?
Me: Yes, I would love to see...
Him: [Interrupts me again] I love to travel! I've been on almost every continent! I go every where.
Me: Lucky you
Him: What do you read?
Me: Novels like...
Him: I read a lot, everything even...
[Did he really need a living date?]

Date 3: With the Insecure Freak
Him: Is that all you'll have?
Me: Yes, I'm ok
Him: Take more
Me: No, I'm ok [Sho, na by force]
Him: Do u think I cannot afford it?
Me: No, I'm ok, really
Him: I feel insulted
Me: Please don't be
Him: Ok, tell me about yourself
Me: Well, I'm just me, I could be friendly when need be, quiet when need be...I could say I'm a Chameleon, LOL
Him: That's bad! You shouldn't be a chameleon
[The dude starts telling me why I shouldn't be a chameleon. For goodness sake, I was only spoiling for a laugh!]
Next thing I know, he sends me a text, telling me how I treated him like shit, like he didn't have money, like he wasn't worthy of me. I'm wondering where he got that from.

Date 4:With the sex head
Him: Ejura, I love you. I want to marry you
Me: But I've told you before that I cannot marry you
Him: But why?
Me: Because I don't see you in that light; besides there's someone else
Him: Forget about him, I want to spoil you silly
Me: Thanks but I don't love you like that
Him: I know what would make you love me
Me: Really? What?
Him: Allow me have carnal knowledge of you.
[Huh?]

Date 5: With the Desperado
Him: I really like you
Me: Thanks
Him: Baby, do you think we can be together?
Me: Like friends?
Him: Who's talking about friends here? I want to marry you
Me: But you just met me the day before yesterday
Him: It doesn't matter. I need to get married now. I'm old enough to be married. All my friends are getting married
Me: But what about love?
Him: I can take care of you girl. I'd give you all you need. You're igala, I'm igala, we can make this work.
[Sho?]

Date 6: With an interesting man
Him: I was thinking you should try indian food so I took the liberty of ordering
Me: No, it's fine. I might as well try it today.
Him: It's really spicy you know. And they have the most lovely rice
Me: Really?
Him: Yes
[Food arrives]
Me: Wow, where do I start from?
Him: Let me show you. The green stuff over there is the peppermint...
Me: Peppermint in food?
Him: Haha, funny right? That's the way they eat it
Me: Hmm, kinda tasty
Him: I like that you're curious about it...
[This guy was so interesting, I had a great evening!]


Brothers abound in different flavours jare!
Have a great weekend!